Unsolicited crap advice

Have you too been the unwilling recipient of unsolicited crap advice (#unsolicitedcrapadvice) from other mothers, or fathers? If not, could it be that you are yourself the one giving the crap advice? Because no one is as wise and all-knowing when it comes to parenting, as another mother, but here’s some responses to help you dodge that crap too!

Some examples on the crap advice I’ve gotten before:

When I tell them I’m so tired – You should get some more vitamin D

When I complain about my messy apartment – Just put things back where they belong

When I confess that I can’t stand board games with kids – You have to, they are soooo educational

When I get my nails done – You can’t do dishes with those, moms shouldn’t get those

When I confess that my spouse is really getting on my nerves – Ah come on, he’s such a nice person, you must be overreacting

When I mull over something regarding my kids sleeping/eating/living – (different variations on crap advice)

How to reply to unsolicited crap advice:

– Hey thanks a lot, I would’ve never thought of it myself, did you come up with this yourself? (boosted with a look that could kill)

– Yeah okay, thank you for the advice. It was just as unwanted and sudden as my genital herpes

– Thank you very much, but I’d rather not have kids like yours, they are so ugly and misbehaving

– Uh thanks, but it’s really hard to concentrate on what you are saying, with that huge ball of snot hanging from your nose

With these replies the unsolicited crap adviser will make like a banana and split, never to return with advice on these or other matters of yours.

Photo by Markus Spiske.

— Mom of Finland

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